What Price Free Stuff?

J. Kevin Tumlinson

I'm a bargain hunter. Actually, I've always felt the best bargain was to get something for free. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I just can't convince someone to simply give me what I want at no cost. So, a discount will suffice.

But I have an issue with so called "discount cards." Everyone seems to have them. Your local super retailer, grocery store, drug store franchise and sandwich shop probably all have some sort of discount program. They offer you a break, a chance to save a little coin on some of the items on your shopping list. But what are we giving up in exchange for saving fifty cents on tomato soup?

Simply put - our privacy.

Most of these cards require you to give your personal information to the store. Your name, phone number, address, e-mail, maybe even a driver's license number all get jotted down on a piece of paper. The paper gets entered into a computer, and voila! Instant junk mail is produced. The store's main HQ sends you a flier every week, trying to get you to buy more of their stuff.

Or, worse yet, they SELL your information to someone else, who also sends you a flier every week. Before you know it, your address has made its way to mailing lists all over the world and an avalanche of paper is coming your way.

Ironically, these cards usually aren't saving you very much anyway. Let's face it - the store is there to make money. If they're willing to knock off a dollar on tube socks, they probably have the price raised to compensate for that. Or twice that.

Ok, so we aren't really saving anything. And we're giving up our privacy. Two points that are very, very annoying. But here's the real kicker for me - stores that won't give you any sort of price break UNLESS you get the card.

It's a truly Faustian deal. They dangle the discount over your head and tell you that you can't have it unless you sell your soul. Later, after you've used up the roll of toilet paper you ditched your privacy over, the demons come flooding into your mailbox, calling your home at all hours and bombarding your e-mail with ads for junk even impoverished nations wouldn't want.

I'm all for saving a nickel, but is it really worth it to give up your privacy? I vote no. Instead of signing up for discount cards, I think I'll just start asking for the manager's contact information. That way, I can send THEM ads every week that say things like, "Give Kevin Tumlinson free stuff today! His satisfaction is guaranteed!"

I'm almost positive that will work.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is a writer and a schoolteacher living in Lake Jackson, TX. Please sign up for his discount card.