Phone Man
J. Kevin Tumlinson

I've always suspected that I was a little too dependent on communication technology. Everything I do revolves around the Internet or my ability to make a phone call. But when a fiber optic cable was severed this past week, effectively cutting me off from the rest of the world, I discovered just how dependent I really am.

I was shut down. Everything I do, from researching some article I'm working on to posting updates to the various web pages I build, depends on having that vital link with the outside world. And without it? Well, think “Rain Man” in that scene where he's missing Judge Wapner. I stumbled around my house for a couple of hours, incoherent and babbling. I guess that makes me “ Phone Man. ”

Having my phone and Internet shut down was bad enough, but when I found out my cel phone wasn't working either I nearly lost it. That's my backup plan! Phone's are down? No problem! I have my trusty cel phone! It's Internet capable! At that point, though, it was a movie prop.

I've come to realize that there is this animal part of the human brain that kicks in whenever you take away all the fancy technology and toys. When faced with an undetermined problem with my network of communications, I first became paranoid. “The government must be shutting me down!” I thought. Because, you know, guys who write opinion columns are always on the top of the government's list of targets. The war and terror threat thing is just a smoke screen.

After I had raged against the sanctions of an unfair and iron fisted government for a while, the animal part of my brain decided it was time to take action! Yes, man was meant to be a creature of action! One cannot sit idly by, resolved to one's fate. One must jump into one's car and drive. Which is what this one did. I got into my car and drove to the corner store, where I discovered that this was a town-wide problem. Then I drove until I found a place where my cel phone worked. With barely suppressed glee I called the phone company to make sure they knew that the whole town was cut off (which they already knew but could not yet explain). And then I tried to call everyone I ever knew. Since they were all pretty much in the same mess, obviously they weren't able to get my call. Foiled again!

Scary – that's the word I'd use to describe it. The situation was scary enough, what with being cut off from the rest of the world. You start asking yourself “what happened?” You come up with scenarios like “terrorist strike” and “government conspiracy” and “forgot to pay the phone bill” (I checked that first). But what was truly scary was coming to the realization that I am completely and utterly dependent on my ability to communicate. Which makes me completely and utterly vulnerable.

Try as I might, though, I can't think of any way to avoid it. We live in an age where communication is more important than any other aspect of society. At one time, the horse was the most important thing a man could own (horse thieves were usually shot or hung – what about people who cut off my telephone??). Sailing ships, the automobile, the airplane, all were vital to the survival of whole nations. Now, though, they've been all but replaced by fiber optic lines and satellite communications.

Let's face it, without the telephone and the Internet, our society would be vastly different. It might even crumble all together. One thing's for sure, I am never, ever going to take this precious telephone for granted again.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the Editor for ViewOnline Magazine at www.viewonline.com . He is a Houston Baptist University graduate with degrees in English and Communications. You can reach him by e-mail at kevin@viewonline.com . He is definitely, definitely going to miss Wapner, three minutes to Wapner, yeah.