Flying Low

J. Kevin Tumlinson

I don't spend as much time in airports as I used to, but there's been a recent upsurge of activities and opportunities that demand a little more of my time in the air. So I, like millions of other Americans, have had first-hand opportunities to experience the joys of humiliation and degradation at the hands of airport personnel. I know I'm not the only person to take umbrage at this, but so far I've held my tongue. After all, this is supposed to be in the interest of preserving my safety and the safety of everyone else in the country, right?

The first clue that something could be wrong with this whole scenario should have been the fact that we can't make jokes about it. I don't know about everyone else, but stressful situations always bring out the jokes in the Tumlinson household. And believe me, when you're facing a three-hundred pound man with a badge who has just asked you to shed your shoes so he can swab them in search of explosives… that's stressful. And for whatever reason, it's now ILLEGAL for me to say things like, “You'll never find the explosives there. I have them in my colon.” That's just a quick ticket to rubber-glove-ville.

Which begs the question, “Why?” Isn't it one of the rights I possess as an American citizen to make jokes? Aren't those covered by the First Amendment? I know, I can almost picture the eye-rolling. Another First Amendment stand by a guy who uses it to make a living. Think about this – the only speech not protected by the First Amendment is that which causes an immediate and present danger. The classic example of yelling “Fire!” in a movie theater is often used to illustrate this. And yes, me saying I have explosives in my colon in the middle of an airport security check could be construed as violating this precept. But there's a line there, however thin, and I think it gets crossed daily. I think that every day, we are surrendering more and more of our rights in the name of safety.

I'm going to say something serious here, and I know it's unusual so bear with me. Freedom is never safe. The rights we have under the Constitution come with a myriad of prices. None of those prices is or should be the equivalent of “you will surrender your rights in order to make your neighbors feel safe.” The very act of being free implies danger and risk.

The issue of carrying a pocket knife onto an airplane… I'd like to point out that pre-9/11 we had been told for decades that if someone is hijacking a plane we are to do nothing. We are to sit there and wait, cause no problems until the authorities can help us. Post-9/11, however, we realize that every citizen of this country is responsible for protecting it. Terrorists were able to board those planes and hijack them because they had never done it that way before. Try it now. By the time the plane lands, there won't be enough of you to fill a barf-bag.

Pardon me for daring to want to carry a set of nail clippers in my pocket. Forgive me for having one of those Swiss Army key-chains. Please don't stone me for asking the flight attendant if I can be seated in the “non-bombing” section. I'm just exercising my freedom.

It's appalling to me that we have surrendered so many of our rights in the name of “safety.” My luggage can be ransacked at will, my personal belongings sifted through and inspected. My face can be photographed and scanned thousands of times just for walking through an airport corridor. I can even be pulled aside and asked to strip in front of an airport full of strangers just because of the way I look. Do that on the streets of this country and it's a violation. Do it in the airports, and it's “for the safety of everyone.”

Freedom isn't safe. It's dangerous and risky and always in jeopardy. We are surrendering it as I write this article. We are accomplishing exactly what the terrorists wanted – a nation too afraid to be free.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the Publisher and Editor for ViewOnline Magazine at www.viewonline.com . He is a Houston Baptist University graduate with degrees in English and Communications. You can reach him by e-mail at kevin@viewonline.com . He has often been told that there must be explosives in his colon.