Defining moments

J. Kevin Tumlinson

Everyone has a moment, maybe several, where they did something they weren't proud of. Maybe you gave someone the ol' "driving finger" when you got cut off in traffic. Maybe you snacked on the 25-cent candy and only put two dimes in that little metal box. Or maybe you did something much, much worse… like watch "Glitter."

I know that I have often found myself regretting something I said, or something I did. Usually it's something that was mean or derisive to another person. But sometimes it's just some little thing, some act I committed when no one was looking, that makes me question my own character. It's those little things you do when you think no one will ever find out - those are the defining moments in your life.

Character, morals, integrity - these are things that are only truly in evidence when there's no one else around. How you act when you're by yourself, that's what defines who you are.

It's one thing to be charitable and generous and kind and morally upstanding when the spotlight of your friends, family and community is on you. Heck, when someone's watching, we're all Joe Morals. But when you're alone - when it's just you and the cable television you discover is still hooked up in your new apartment, that's when your character gets its workout.

I'm as guilty as anyone, and more than some. But I'm trying. It's one of those things where the journey is just as important as the destination. You can overcome your own moral ineptitude by consciously trying to be something better.

It's one of those situations where you might have to let your mind lead your actions and your actions lead your heart. A real "let your conscience be your guide." When you see someone drop a twenty, you know it's only right to point it out to them. So what if your first impulse is to grab it. Your character doesn't depend on what your first instinct was, it depends on the instinct you decide to follow. Pick up that twenty and give it to the guy who dropped it.

The great thing about it is that eventually, your first instinct changes. The more you "do the right thing," the less it occurs to you to do the wrong one.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is a Houston Baptist University graduate with degrees in English and Communications. You can reach him by e-mail at kevin@viewonline.com. He sings reggae when no one else is around.