Couch Potato's Union

J. Kevin Tumlinson

I love T.V. I am an official and founding member of the Couch Potato's Union (Precinct 001). I have logged thousands, maybe even millions of hours on the sofa, and I have the waist line to prove it.

Recently things have gotten very exciting in the world of television. There's a change in the wind, things are happening. The world, as we know it, is on the verge of a metamorphosis, and it's going to be something else to see what it all turns into.

Satellite services such as Dish Network are now offering Personal Video Recorders (PVRs) built right into the receivers. This is a digital recording system that let's you pause live television, rewind, playback, record, and basically do anything your VCR can do only better. No tapes. You might recognize this service as being similar to TiVo.

Always trying to stay a step ahead, Time Warner introduced it's own bid for T.V. supremacy with it's "On Demand" programming, allowing viewers to choose when they watch particular programming. At the moment it's limited to premium channels like HBO and Showtime, but deals are already in the works with major television networks.

These are just two examples of the exciting hub-bub going on the television world, but they bring up some interesting problems.

Television has long been dependent on advertising to pay its way. As cable and satellite television become more popular, the revenue from advertising has been bolstered by subscription fees, but these are a pittance compared to the big bucks that come from paid ads. You've heard the stories. Commercials running during the Super Bowl, arguably the most watched television event of the year, can have price tags running in the high millions. You can see, then, just how valuable a commodity your attention really is. Advertisers want you to see their message, television networks want to be paid by the advertisers. You and I? We just want to skip the commercials and get back to regularly scheduled programming.

With the onset of the new digital technology, skipping the commercials is becoming much easier to do, and it's scaring the bejeepers out of advertisers. After all, they're shelling out the big bucks so we can be inundated by their ads day in and day out. What's a poor, ignored advertiser to do?

We're already well aware of one solution to the advertiser's woes. Product placement has become such a mainstay in the world of television and movies that we hardly notice it anymore. And now, because of the same technological advancements that allow us to skip past commercials, a new wave of product placement is beginning. Digital imaging makes it possible for you to not only watch your movie hero drink a popular soda, but the soda may be different depending on where you live. In California, you may see Bruce Willis drinking Sprite, but in Texas he may be chugging Dr. Pepper.

And it doesn't stop there, of course. How would you like to see June Cleaver (from "Leave it to Beaver") open her 1950's refrigerator and take out a carton of Tropicana Orange Juice? Or see Jack, Chrissy and Janet from "Three's Company" all sporting Nike t-shirts or Old Navy pull-overs? Scary, isn't it?

How far are we from a George Orwell's "1984," anyway? Will Big Brother be watching us? Will the Thought Police make sure we get a good glimpse of the latest Dell ads? We already deal with pop-up ads while surfing the net, how long before we see them every time we turn on our television sets?

It's closer than you think. Certain cable networks, such as the Discover Channel, already use small pop-up ads at the bottom of the screen to promote upcoming specials and series. Will it be long before those pop-ups are selling soft drinks and automobiles? And how long after that before there's a constant advertising banner scrolling across the top and/or bottom of the screen?

It's enough to give you the cold shivers.

But for the members of the Couch Potato Union, we just take it all in stride. Advertising is a fact of modern life. We see it as a necessary evil. Without it, we wouldn't have our beloved programming. Besides, some of the commercials are better than the programs they pay for.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is a writer and a schoolteacher living in Lake Jackson, TX. Kevin is brought to you by his parents, makers of fine products..