Boob Tube
J. Kevin Tumlinson

I didn't watch the Super Bowl. Hey, drag me into the street and beat me for being un-American, I guess, but I can't stand football. And frankly, the commercials are available online if I care to see them (which I usually don't). For me, the Super Bowl is a huge hassle because everything I would want to watch is pre-empted, even if the game isn't even ON that channel.

So, I wasn't watching the half-time show when the notorious “boob incident” took place. But Drudge Report was kind enough to supply me with the images that may haunt me for the rest of my life, as well as the story behind the “accident.” That's pretty good timing, as coincidences go, don't you think? I mean, Justin Timberlake is singing about having someone being naked by the end of the song and…well, by now you know. Boob city.

Ok, far be it from me, a male with an understandable and healthy interest in the various body parts of the female of the species, to be too judgmental about a woman voluntarily showing her goods to me (never mind the rest of the world). But heck, these goods weren't even so “good,” frankly. And the little sun-burst piercing thing… well, ouch. I mean, empathy causes me to shutter at the very thought. Plus there's the whole issue of how much Janet looks like her brother, and the freakiness just gyrates right out of control.

I have to say, though, that as irreverent as I may sometimes be, I found the whole boob affair to be completely inappropriate.

If a parent wants to let their kid watch Cinemax or Showtime, or wants to take them to Mardi Gras, they'd be idiots to become offended by a show of boob. But the Super Bowl, much as I hate to admit it, is a time-honored American tradition that draws viewers of all races, sexes, and temperaments. It's “safe.” Or at least, it should be, because hey there WILL be kids watching.

I'm not sure where things will go from here. This boob fiasco has set off some reaction with the public, but the public does tend to forget things like that in only a short time. The biggest boobs on the stage were Janet and Justin themselves, if you ask me. They knew that this was in the works, on live TV, in front of millions and millions of people. They can make all the claims to the contrary that they want, but you'd be a boob to believe it.

For their offense, I think a fitting punishment would be maybe fifty to a hundred hours of community service, and a public service announcement about public indecency. Heck, they should probably be forced to go to the door of every person who was watching the Super Bowl and apologize for showing them Janet's boob. But heck, we live in a society largely composed of boobs, so I don't expect much will happen.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the Editor for ViewOnline Magazine at www.viewonline.com . He is a Houston Baptist University graduate with degrees in English and Communications. You can reach him by e-mail at kevin@viewonline.com . He the word “boob” ten times! A new record!